my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Less talking, more tequila
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
