There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Your cock deserves a montage
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
