I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
