i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
