We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
