Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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