What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
