i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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