if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
