i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
