well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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