After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
