My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
