maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
