You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
