I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
