I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
