Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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