Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
