He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
