you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
