i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
