bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the day after is always just damage control
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
