are you still at the devil's house?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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