I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
