we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
