It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
