**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
