Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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