Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
