hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
