im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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