He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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