im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
