I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize