This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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