So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
