Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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