Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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