Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
