im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dicks are not precious.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize