Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
