hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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