i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
