I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
