i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
