So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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