hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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