So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
