listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
