the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
