i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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