My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
