My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
a search helicopter?!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
