"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
