You really coming over, don't trick.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize