I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
