maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
A+ Viking dick
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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